He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i think my mom watched the whole time
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when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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