He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
