Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
