Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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