We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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