Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
