When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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