sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
