Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
