who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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