I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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