The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
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this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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