I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
