All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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