this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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