Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hippo gnu deer
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
