dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
