Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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