my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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