Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
where are my eyebrows?
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