i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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