:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
