Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
i think i just lost a toe
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
