My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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