I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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