So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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