yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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