one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
