Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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