After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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