Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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