Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
