We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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