That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
