forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
