please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
