Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
