I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
