shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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