it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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