dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
