just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
