my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
