I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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