can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
