HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
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I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
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There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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