Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
