worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
