sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
