can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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