You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
