I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
