Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I will die if light touches me.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
