she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize