so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
