Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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