I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize