I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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