Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Who died my cat blue again?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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