Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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