All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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