i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
