If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
