Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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